It doesn't taste like home.
I've been slowly building this new habit, not sure if it's a good or a bad one yet, of every day looking at my pictures from the past to remind me of home and what I did before I moved to London.
I acted on a Netflix show, I posed nude in front of a photographer, I presented multiple international events with over 5000 people, I recorded voiceovers for top companies in Colombia and - most importantly - I started an online business with my closest friends from Uni.
A part of me feels like crying because, after listing all those things and seeing the pictures to prove I did it, it feels like it never happened and like maybe I won't get to feel that adrenaline from those experiences again.
Now, I'm sitting in this beautiful room I've paid for and constructed [thanks to my efforts] on the other side of the world. And it's hard for me to accept that I made this decision. I decided to leave home.
After years of asking for people's advice, of following mom and dad and then boyfriends around the world, I went on a "lonely picnic" with myself [by the Miami sea] that changed the way my life was headed. To this day, I can say that I will never forget that moment when clouds finally left my head and I decided to stop taking myself for granted.
But, the reason I feel like crying right now is not that I regret all the changes that came after my decision. No. The reason I feel like crying is that I'm extremely proud of myself and it's only hitting me now. Because I know what I'm capable of, is that I decided to give myself more opportunities in a bigger city. However, with all of this, I can sincerely admit that I'm utterly scared of what's going to happen next. I need to make it happen - no one else will do it for me.
I moved from Medellin, Colombia to London, UK only 9 months ago. And I moved for the following reasons:
Independence
Economic freedom
Opportunity
Working for a company that wasn't old-school "Colombian"
Because I wanted, for YEARS, to live in a city as big as my ambitions
But that implied all of these other sacrifices:
Not having mom around
Being far away from family
Saying goodbye to my 100-year-old granddad and knowing it would be the last time I would see him
Distancing myself from all groups of friends and all the random encounters we would have
My favourite meals
Sitting at the kitchen bar with mom on weekends having breakfast
Trying to workout with my cousin's dog Manchas wanting to be petted
My aunts coming into the house to say hi randomly
The noise of thunder echoing from the Colombian mountains
Going to the house in the mountains and playing cards with the family
Not spending important dates together like birthdays, Christmas...
I swear, that list can go on forever. But what these years of experience have taught me from moving from one city to the next my entire life, is that you are the person that makes the place magic. You are in charge of making the most out of it. You can create a family wherever you go.
So, now - what am I going to make out of living in London? I got here - now what!!??
Let's make that hot chocolate taste like my new home.
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